Second in the self-portrait series is artist Amy Feick from Port Huron, Michigan. Amy is a Master Photographer, Certified Professional Photographer and operates Twin Shutterbug Studios. Amy shared her images with me during her post-processing workflow and I must say how intrigued I am by the influence that songs and lyrics have within her work. Although the end result is a two-dimensional image, it’s interesting to me that an additional art (music) played a large hand in its creation.

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held by my demons
“Held by My Demons” by Amy Feick. Feick utilized this image at her state and district competitions in 2014.

1. Tell about your main comp image. Why did you create it? What about yourself were you trying to say?

A few years ago, I created a self portrait expressing how I feel bound and silenced by photography sometimes. At IPC, it failed to merit. At the time, I was encouraged by Christie Kline to try again the following year with another self portrait. Until this point, most of my competition entries had always been client work. Instead of improving the same image, I wanted to try for a different story. Throughout my life, like many people, I’ve turned to music to help express what I’m feeling. I’ve always been drawn to introspective lyrics, and this is what inspired my image.

“I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I’ve endured within
My shadow.” *

*lyrics by Tool, “46 & 2”

While the inspiration comes from the whole song, these lyrics just gave me a starting point to visualize how I felt inside. There is that strong desire for change, to let go of the past, but the fear keeps me held in place. As women, we tend to find all of our flaws, and magnify them. I’m a very modest person by nature, and it took a true leap of faith for me to be willing to silence my fears and allow myself to be bared (soul and otherwise) for the story I wanted to tell.

2. How did you execute the shot?

I used a self timer, but a remote would be much easier. I’d set a stuffed animal where I knew I was going to be, auto-focus, then turn it to manual. I’d take about 25 shots in each set, and then review. One of the hardest things was to make sure the light made sense. The light couldn’t be too pretty, even though this was a fantasy piece.

3. Tell us about your post processing & presentation. Print or digital ?

Print. Always print.

I had a lot of little pieces that got composited together for the image. A hand from this frame, face from this one, etc. I created the demons in Corel Painter, and then overlaid them in Adobe Photoshop. I have several layers of texture added, including the cracked texture over my skin. I faded the lower half of my body to black and white, to help symbolize the emerging from the dark.

4. The journey of this image through comp. Different levels you put it through, scores, challenges, advice for changes & any changes made, competitor angst while waiting, etc..

This is not the image I ended up sending to IPC in 2014. I had entered “demons” first at our state competition. Putting an image of yourself out there is harder than entering any other image. It’s YOU getting critiqued. My goal was entirely self expression, what it scores is just the icing on the cake.

At PPM it received a score of 87, and had much discussion. I listened to several of the changes suggested, but chose to ignore others. One suggested changed was the expression- it was much too complacent for the image. That expression was exactly what I was going for, so I chose not to change it. I didn’t want a pained expression, I felt like what I was trying to express wasn’t a pained feeling.

At districts I changed the title and made a few other tweaks. The title change proved to be fatal. The image scored a 78. The title was a big part of what held it back per the critique, but so was the expression. Title is very important to the story you want the judges to see!

I went to work trying to photograph a more pained expression for the image, finally willing to give in. In the process I decided that my first image told the story I wanted it to tell, and I didn’t want to change it. Since this image was about self expression more than it was about what it would score, I decided to not make any changes and leave it as it was. In that decision, I knew I also didn’t want to send it to IPC.

The image I did submit to IPC, Almost Broken, gave me the same sense of self expression, without having to compromise what I wanted to be in the Demons image. Broken is much more simple. It did merit at IPC, but failed to go Loan. I didn’t get the critique because I had three seals, so I don’t know why it wasn’t loan. It could’ve come down to paper choice, or many other factors. There are a few tweaks I could’ve made, but since I shot this image 2 days before the late deadline, I didn’t have time.

almost broken
“Almost Broken” by Amy Feick. PPA 2014 General Collection.

5. How you feel about this image now? Did you successfully execute your plan and convey your message?

During PPM competition one of the judges said that he could really relate to the image. Who hasn’t felt held back by the things they keep inside? I think in both images that what I was trying to accomplish was done.

I’ve done quite a bit of healing thru the process of self portraiture and I’ve discovered things about myself I never knew. I don’t love images of myself, and it’s been a goal of mine to learn to be okay with being photographed. I’ve had others tell me that these two images have resonated with them. These things are more powerful than any score or award.

*****

Thank you, Amy for sharing your creative process with Wootness readers.

If you or someone you know would like to be featured in this series, please email christine@wootness.net for consideration

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